Deprogramming: Coping With and Undoing the
Programming
This page is concerned with understanding the
fundamental aspects of deprogramming and the process.
Fundamental Aspects
Common Aspects
Programming is the indoctrination method and
the system that is set up within the persons being. We/survivors
are "programmed" (indoctrinated) to have a
"program/s" (system). It relates to both the singleton
and multiplicity forms. It is done completely by the
cult/organization and its conscious members (eg a father) and it
is what intends to keep you/the survivor/victim in an abusive
relationship to the cult/organization. When being victimised and
abused, it is a direct relationship. With escape and
survivorship, it is feeling its effects without contact. With
both, the person is always trying to stop it happening or not be
affected.
Deprogramming is when you need to cope with
it and/or undo it in order to be free from the cult.
Deprogramming happens all the time and will continue until you
have coped with or undone programming. There are periods of less
stress such as between call back ceremony times eg beltane (May
1st) for satanic survivors. Programming
comes on particularly during crisis times. These are
mainly when you/the survivor is going against the despicable
aspects of the cult/organization and are escaping, telling
someone like a friend or therapist (disclosure), not being
called back for ceremony times eg halloween (Oct 31st) for
satanic survivors, etc.
Undoing means going back to where the
programs were put into place and stopping the violence and lies
so that you/the survivor will never be affected again.
This means doing a kind of "rewind of a video" in your
memory and controlling how you will get rid of the violence and
the real perpetrators and free yourself from the lies and binds
(sometimes double or more binds). Use whatever techniques
you/the survivor want in this. This was violence that you
had not control over then. Now you/the survivor can and do
whatever you/the survivor want/s. This mainly happens at general
or non crisis times as survivors have the time and energy to put
it into it. Many survivors also undo programming during crisis
times.
Coping is putting it at bay or aside.
This particularly happens during crisis times like call backs.
During the rest of the year it is also important as there is a
need and want to have a normal everyday life free from
programming. In coping there are Crisis Hints that come from the
Beyond Survival magazine. (Please the below Call Back Stress
Times) An important consideration here is to live your life
in your/the survivor's current age. Do not be tempted to go
back to the violence and torture of the cue that was long ago.
Remember that the violence and lies are not happening today or
now. It is merely a memory and back in 1962 or 1983, etc. It is
1999 now.
Deprogramming is basically going back to
where the lies were put in with extremely violent torture. This
generally means bringing yourself back to a more grounded way of
being. In psychological/ medical terms
it is "associating the experience". You/the survivor
was forced to dissociate or float off and space out in order to
cope with the despicable horror of what the cult/organization
did/does to you/the survivor. With a lot of dissociation comes
the formation of a separate personality part. (Please see the
following multiplicity and personality parts). Some methods are
child rapes, spinning machinery, electrocution, deprivation of
food, hypnosis and then torture, hanging upside down, moving the
person towards a revolving saw, putting a knife in your throat,
etc. The cult/organization then further abuses this dissociation
and personality part development by tricking the part into a lie
that they "owe the cult/organization". With the
multiple personality parts survivors, the cult/organization
organized a system of many parts. With singelton survivors, the
cult/organization stressed a single dissocation or spacing out.
With amnestic or not conscious victims/survivors the
cult/organization does not allow the separated part to be
consciously with the person.
The Programming System
The cult/organization set up a system of programs within ones
being. It comes through mainly in the mind as this is where we
think and therefore act on what is fed to us/the survivors.
Programming is also called mind control. Within singleton
survivors there is a system that views from a single
perspective. With multiple survivors the system has many
personality parts that both act singularly and are in
conflicting and inclusive relationships. When the
cult/organization tortured people they also deliberately placed
names and cues within the person that would relate to the
torture. This, they attempted, would respond to specific orders
such as returning, not being aware of the abuse- amnestic, not
disclosing, causing conflict with non offending family and
supporters, etc. So a victim/survivor would have this conscious
or non concsious cue that if he/she "did not return for
halloween" then the memory of the specific torture would
"come on". Victims/survivors also have general
reminder cues or triggers such as seeing black or red for
satanic survivors. These will also set off programs.
Programming and deprogramming can be
normalized. Everyone is indoctrinated
into something whether it be class or gender conditioning. With
ritual abuse cults/organizations there are specific forms that
need to be addressed, and alleviated and stopped.
Programming runs out after a while. Like
any conditioning it gets lessened.
Programming gets lesser in its intensity, unless there is a
program built in to continue it which is common and needs to be
addressed as with all personality parts. As with time healing
all problems and emotional stress, it also lessens the effects
of the violence and the lies.
Being a survivor continuously
Once you/the survivor have survived the call backs and
disclosure programming particularly, you have worked out ways of
counteracting them and these will come into play almost
immediately and sometimes even subconsciously. Deprogramming
will become second nature.
Variations
Each of us copes and undoes programming
his/her own way. People have individual interests and strengths.
Some people enjoy looking at psychology and how the mind works
and go into the intricacies of brainwashing. Some people use the
media and public education to get rid of their anger against the
cult and its programming. There is no one or right way to
deprogram. The following is information about how survivors
have generally deprogrammed.
Multiple personality parts
victims/survivors. (Please note that
me and my therapist prefer the words "personality
parts" instead of "personalities." The reason is
that the cult attempts to abuse this. "Personalities"
implies an autonomy or self direction when floating by itself,
and is supposedly separated from the person. Personality parts
are different aspects of oneself, the person. They are directed
by the person. Cult/organization affected people who have many
personality parts sometimes feel they are in one personality
part only. If this personality part wants to die or thinks that
other personality parts should die then this is wrong.
Personality parts are lied to by programmers and the cult that
he/she/it "will live" after he/she/it kills off other
personality parts and supposedly the host. This is not the
truth. When a person dies, god forbid, the whole person really
dies which includes all of the personality parts.)Multiple
victims/survivors have programming which deliberately abuses
personality parts and many of us/in the survivor. The
cult/organization attempted to create many different and
separate roles, different cues, conflict within the
victim/survivor between personality parts, and confusion as to
the number of parts and conflict between parts. By being
multiple, the cult/organization thought it could have more
personality parts "to play with" and attempt internal
disruption. Deprogramming therefore means both addressing each
personality part and at the same time seeing the part within a
whole. It means looking after everyone. This stops conflict and
disruption. An important phrase with multiple survivors is when
I see that I am multiple, then I am one. In other words you/the
survivor have gone further than being in one personality and can
see the whole. This means little or no disruption.
Singleton survivors
"Singletons" do not feel there are parts of themselves
with distinct personalities, parts which hold distinct memories,
or parts that speak through them. All of what is inside their
head "feels" like themselves, and they view life as
"one". Singletons "space out" or dissociate
into a oneness instead of into a separated personality. They
need to work on the abuse/trigger memory so that they do not
dissociate.
Active programming.
This where the cult/organization that you/the survivor comes
from is still active. The cult/organization wants you/the
survivor to particularly return and not disclose. It runs out if
it is not reprogrammed.
Non active programming.
This is where the cult/organization that you/the survivor comes
from is not active anymore. The programming is put into the
background and made to not function particularly around call
backs. It still emphaises not disclosing. It still causes
concern as the feelings still come up such as at call back times
eg Halloween for satanic survivors. It will run out if not
reprogrammed.
The Process of Deprogramming
Basic Considerations
There are very important basic
considerations in deprogramming. It is
beneficial to have these either before you start and/or during
the process.
An unaffected personal space in your/the
survivor's mind. You/the survivor
needs to be in a personal space within yourself that is
relatively free from the cult/organization's affects. To see the
world from a relatively unaffected view or stance. This is
important for a reference point so that in times of stress or
even generally, you/the survivor have somehere to come back to.
It is important for rationality ie does this makes sense? It has
some sense of objectivity so that you can see it from another
perspective. From here you/the survivor can observe and work on
the programming. If you/the survivor are ever in trouble with
deprogramming such as going around in circles and going nowhere
or there is a "snag", you can come back to this
unaffected space. It means you can separate yourself from the
cult/organization and be able to relate outside a
cult/organization context and mind set to other survivors,
friends, therapist, the world generally, etc. Overall, it is the
basis and continual referral point. It can also be your end
point as when you/the survivor unravel the programming there
should only be this unaffected place. We all have the ability
to get this free space. The human spirit is indestructable.
For example, people who have been in concentration camps and
prisons for many years have come out with their lives and
thinking in tact. A good exercise is to simply walk from one
room to another of your/the survivor's own free will to find and
strengthen this free will. Other ways of finding this inner
place in your/the survivor's soul and mind are: a bath, going
for a walk, meditation, concentrating on a pet or an object,
holding onto something from a teddy bear to a stone. Do things
in your/the survivor's current age and time eg school, work,
hobbies, etc. From this beginning, you/the survivor can then
strengthen these simply by doing more of it and being creative.
Being Wholistic- seeing yourself/the
survivor as being the whole person It
is very important to see yourself/the survivor as whole. For
multiple personality part survivors, if you/the survivor are in
one personality part or swapping between personality parts then
you/the survivor can lose track of the whole picture and there
could be another personality part who is directing things. It is
important to look for and address all of your/the survivor
personality parts. You/the survivor needs to then look after all
of them. Dont cause or continue any conflict. Give each part an
equal reward in working through the programming. Sometimes
you/the survivor need to step back and view every part. Imagine
your/the survivor's head as a whole head. Listen for all of the
parts speaking. This does not necessarily mean intergration or
association. You/the survivor can still have personality parts,
and hopefully those not lied to and cult controlled. They are
still part of the whole. For singleton survivors .
Care for all of your/the survivor self
which includes every part You/the
survivor needs to look after and care for your/the survivor
whole self which includes every part. Personality parts have
only been lied to and they are led to believe that they are
"doing good by you/the survivor". They were split off
and told that you/the survivor, the person they were split from,
"has done bad" or that "they have done bad",
etc. Caring for them means listening to the parts lies and not
accepting them, explaining things in a non judgemental way and
how it is the depsicable cult's fault, stopping the violence
done to them/you and being firm. With parts that were created
when you/the survivor were a young person it is important to
understand your/the survivor's age at which they were done and
care accordingly. This means extra deserving attention, eating
the appropriate foods eg baby foods, singing songs etc. Caring
for your/the survivor self also means in the general current and
day to day sense. Going for walks, eating healthy food, having
good accomodation, etc. You/the survivor are looking after all
of you.
We/survivors are People It
is important to remember that we/survivors are people in the
deprogramming. Sometimes we may forget that we are not robots or
zombies which the cult would despicably like us to believe. When
deprogramming, remember that personality parts and the person
are people with feelings and levels of understanding and
knowledge. We need to look after these. Feelings are not a
safe and reliable guide. In deprogramming a lot of feelings
come up. The cult abuses feelings a lot. Feelings are just
feelings. They have no sense of truth or insight and can be
manipulated. They are determined by a much larger truth/lies. Eg
you could be lied to that your mum did this when in fact it
didnt happen. Your feelings cant tell you the truth and you and
her may be abused with this lie. Even though feelings are not a
reliable guide as people are lied to, we need to respect these
feelings and explain to personality parts and the person that
their feelings have been abused.
Memories Come Up When They Can
Memories of when the programming was done come up when
deprogramming. This happens as you/the survivor want to get rid
of the programming and the violence and lies. It is important to
respect that you are bringing up memories when you can. You can
work on them. In times of stress such as first remembering the
abuse and at call back times, you maybe flooded with memories.
You wish to bring back too much. Now you need to also respect
your abilities in dealing with too much memory. You need to say
that you can only deal with so much and go into program
management (see following).
Trusting yourself.
The cult/organization and its programming methods with setups
and electrocution etc where/are real. You can go back into the
memories and undo it. You can also put them aside. You have the
ability to control the programming.
Having a Strategy
It is important to have a conscious strategy when deprogramming
either as coping or undoing. You/the survivor are deprogramming
for a very good reason and it is helpful to be conscious and
control it. Ask why am I/the survivor deprogramming? Am I
needing to react and get anxious? What is the reality? The
cult/organization cannot get me, I am safe, etc. What is my
support such as therpists, friends, support groups, etc. Is it
to cope with a short term crisis such as halloween for satanic
survivors? If so, go into short term looking after yourself.
Forget about undoing the programming. Lots of pampering, lots of
being with friends, lots of talking to the therapist, getting
out or sleeping - whatever you enjoy and tides you over. Is it
to understand myself better and get rid of the despicable
cult/organization garbage and it is not a stress time? Then undo
the programming. Some survivors dont go into the programming and
leave it at bay like a broken record that just goes on. They
feel that they wont be accessed and that the lies the cult told
will not come true so why deprogram. They can put the violence
ay bay because it is not happening now. The important
consideration is how safe you feel and to keep on asking how
safe you really are. If you dont feel safe then deprogram, if
you are safe then it can be a lot of time and effort for
something eg "killing yourself" that wont be a
reality.
Getting the facts
It is very important to get the facts amd the reality when
deprogramming. The cult abuses fiendish hypnosis, drugs, death
threats, etc to force and delude you into thinking something
else. A common one is that "your brother/sister died".
In fact, it was a cult member masquerading as "your
brother/sister" and they, either your real brother/sister
or the cult member, did not die. Another example of a delusion
you/the survivor may be forced to think is that you "are
ringing the cult". You/the survivor needs to check whether
this was the case or not by knowing where you were at the time. Feelings
are not a safe and reliable guide. In deprogramming a lot of
feelings come up. The cult abuses feelings a lot. Feelings are
just feelings. They have no sense of truth or insight and can be
manipulated. They are determined by a much larger truth/lies. Eg
you could be lied to that your mum did this when in fact it
didnt happen. Your feelings cant tell you the truth and you and
her may be abused with this lie. You need to get the facts and
then express feelings appropriately- eg against the cult. In
waiting to get the truth you need to put feelings aside and not
buy into them. The cult/organization abuses feelings a lot.
Develop and trust your rationality, the facts, intuition, etc.
Multiple and Singleton SurvivorsWith
multiple survivors, it is important so that you/the survivor do
not get lost within many different aspects of yourself. For
singleton survivors, it is important not to get carried away
with the intensity of the feelings.
.
Deprogramming and General Life
Deprogramming needs to be seen in relationship to life
generally. You/the survivor are pressured by work, studies,
family, friends, relationships, shopping, etc. It is important
to know when it is needed to deprogram. During stress times,
deprogramming is very important and life generally needs to be
well used such as being with trusted friends or telling
unreliable friends that you cant see them. Work and social
functions need to be made less important, etc. It is important
not to get triggered by similar looking cult/organization
things/people which are not cult, and to not go near or do
things that will trigger or do harm such as tall buildings.
Deprogramming and the Cult/Organization
Programming and deprogramming need to be put into a
cult/organization perspective in that they are specifically
about the cult/organization. This is its function. It relates
specifically to being accessed, disclosure, disrupting support
and cult/organization activities. During general or non crisis
times, the aims of the cult/organization are to keep you/the
survivor under control. THIS IS NOT THE TOTALITY OF LIFE. If
we use the times and space when the cult/organization is not
seriously affecting ones/the survivors life we can use this to
develop greater control over our/the survivors life. The
programming feels deep because the cult/organization attempted
total control and abused very secretive, long and extreme
methods. The cult/organization though DOES NOT CONTROL YOU/THE
SURVIVOR. As seen with an exercise of walking from one room to
another, everyone has free will and can survive extreme torture
as with concentration camp survivors. We need to develop our
free will through our strength and support from other survivors,
friends, non offending family and a therapist.
Call Back Stress Times
As a reminder, call back times can be the most harrowing times
for victims/survivors. The most important thing to remember is
that it is only temporary. It only seriously affects you/the
survivor for the couple of days or one day. During this crisis
period it is important to get all the support you can. Tell your
friends, therapist, telephone crisis counsellor (eg Lifeline),
etc that you want as much support as you can. Do not take shit
from anybody. Act out, offend people if necessary. This is
your crisis period. You only have it a few times of the year
and will be hospitable the rest of the time. Do whatever it
takes to get you through the day and night. Whatever it takes to
keep you safe and sane- scream, shout, be stupid, stare at
people. You did not choose to have this as with all cult
activities put upon you. You can now choose to cope with and not
allow the programming to affect you.
Crisis Times (From Beyond Survival
magazine) Sometimes survivors get very stressed. These are
mainly when remembering the abuse, telling others, when being
told to return to cult activities (eg Halloween for satanic
survivors) and talking to, writing to or seeing cult members
and/or family. There are many things you can do to take the edge
off the pain. Breathe. Breathe deeply
and wriggle your toes. Rub your arms and legs. Blink hard. Keep
eye contact with something such as your pet. Make a list of your
reasons NOT to kill yourself. Read it. Give a copy to your
friends to read out to you when needed. Be safe and warm. Put a
blanket around you and cuddle a teddy bear. Hold onto your pet.
Make a list of things you can do to make you feel better: go out
for dinner, have a bath, read a book, suck on a dummy, go for a
walk. Whatever works or feels right for you. Write in a journal.
Ring a friend. Tell yourself that you are worth being loved. You
are good. Be proud of having survived. The fact that you are
still alive after all the torture shows what an amazingly strong
and lucky person you are. Ring a crisis number and talk to them.
The Actual Process
Immersion and Staying Outside
Immersion is going into the programming to understand how it
functions. Staying outside is observing it from a distance. Both
are important and you/the survivor needs to develop both and use
them together in order to work through the programming. For
example, you need to delve to feel the emotions, understand the
personality parts etc and then to step back from them to get a
perspective on what happens and what are lies etc. The immersion
is the subjective- experiencing the personal, the memories, the
mind, the intricacies of the programming, etc. When doing this
you can rewind the "vcr" of the memories and tell off
the perpetrators. Staying outside is the objective- the
rational, the logical, the analysis of what is lies and truth,
etc. It is where you can be disciplined and not allow the junk
and lies to come in.
Program Management
All of these tools are concerned with programming management or
how to live your/the survivor's life with programming under
reasonable control. Discipline, living in your current age,
understanding what the fear and anxiety is that lies behind the
deporgramming, etc can be very important in this. The panic
to deprogram, particularly at call back and disclosure times,
comes from the lie "that you or someone close to you will
die". This is not the case. In the seven years that I have
been surviving and from meeting two hundred other survivors NO
ONE has died. You/the survivor can discipline one/yourself
with this truth and say "this is a lie and programming. I
will not go into it." Sometimes discipline can seem too
difficult and as normal human beings we are not perfect and can
"do the best we can". This means having a
"bum day" and not feeling bad, and pride ourselves on
not being the "best survivor". We/the survivor didnt
want the programming in the first place so why should we also
have to have extra stress on being perfect.
General Tools
These are general ways in which you/the survivor can help in
deprogramming. Being rational- does this makes sense; use
intuition- this doesnt feel right; getting feedback both
internal and from others such as friends and a therapist; being
flexible; being eclectic or using all/many techniques; being
sensible- eg is flying off a bridge really going to set you/the
survivor free- the reality is that it will kill you/the
survivor; being clear and most importantly loving yourself/the
survivor. For survivors- you suffered some of the most
horrific and despicable crimes against humanity. The true and
real love of yourself is what has kept you both alive and doing
the deprogramming so that you have a better life. Cherish this.
Deprogramming Summary
There are many things to remember when deprogramming. Always
look for why you are deprogramming. It is usually out of
panic and anxiety. Try and alleviate as much of this as you can.
NEVER "TRUST A PROGRAMMER/CULT/ORGANIZATION"
THEY/HE/SHE ALWAYS TELLS LIES EVEN IF THEY ARE TELLING YOU
"THE TRUTH" AS OPPOSED TO ANOTHER PROGRAMMER. THEY
ONLY WANT YOU TO BE BOUND TO THEM. THEY NEVER EVER "HELP
YOU". IT IS ALWAYS FOR THE CULT/ORGANIZATION AND THEY ARE
SELFISH IN WANTING YOU TO DO THEIR CRMINAL ACTIVITIES. NO ONE
WILL DIE. THIS IS 2000 AND THE OLD MEMORIES ARE NOT NOW. YOU
HAVE THE RIGHT AS WITH ALL PEOPLE TO LIVE WHERE YOU WANT AND DO
WHAT YOU WANT. You need to not buy into innocent family's
lies that are told to them by the cult. Tell/emphasise to
the family that you are ok and that it is not important to
return. Be eclectic. Use all techniques and the appropriate
ones. Depending on what your needs are- crisis, wanting to
work on deep programming, wanting to remain calm, etc use the
technique that corresponds to your needs and wants.
"Stages" There are no specific
stages. Deprogramming is about alleviating or taking away the
programming system depending upon what your immediate and long
term needs and wants are. The
programming system was first produced as a predetermined
structure by the cult. It had specific stages of indoctrination
that are generally called core and secondary/ tertiary/etc
layers. For children this can start in the womb and for
kidnapped people it starts at the age they were kidnapped. This
is when there is a linear progression to programming. The core
stages has particularly very heavy and continual torture. The
progression is one of destroying trust and of cult obedience.
There is also specific training in cult roles and ceremonies. At
certain ages programming is put in for returning, not
disclosing, relating to particular organizations, etc. The
programming is also modified according to the specifics of the
cult. For example, you/the survivor may have undone some
programming and so the despicable cult then reprograms. When
deprogramming, you/the survivor goes to the system which
corresponds to what your short and long term needs are. For
example, at Christmas, you may need to go back to the trauma at
ten years old as this related specfically to "a Christmas
return program". When working on dismantling the whole
system, you may go back to the core programming and work on the
base layers. By working on base layers you can deflate a layer
on top of this to a small degree. However, as programs are all
about violence you will still need to work on the upper layers.
They are not simply put in without violence.
When a person deprograms sufficiently so that
they are not constantly affected by programming and abuse
memories, they can start to leave "the nest" of
survivorship and have an independent life. Signs that a person
has deprogrammed are: not acting out greatly eg not seeing
similar looking people today as being the same as the
perpetrators, and not seriously falling into the same patterns
of abuse eg sexual compulsion; being real-being in touch with
owns emotions and being responsible for them; if adults, having
a functional adult life- studying, working, parenting, leisure,
community pursuits, etc;
One can never be perfect. The effects of abuse
particularly from ritual abuse can be long term and fundamental.
The important aspect is that the person now has a fully
functional life, with the emphasis on life.
From http://www.geocities.com/australiarass/index.html
Used by permission
If
you are going to work with ritual abuse survivors, you
must also get educated if you want to be effective. And
you must learn to be humble. Trauma survivors do not need
to be around ignorant, modern-day Pharisees. Survivors in
pain need people who will connect with them on an
emotional level, get right down in there where they are,
and listen. --Kathleen Sullivan |
|